Today was so tiring! Woke up at 10. Prepare and went out to toapayoh to meet cat, feli and jiayun. Ate macs until 1. Starting standing outside mac and scouting around for the cip ppl until 140+. Realize we are sup to meet at city hall, rush to city hall. Collected the donation tins and starting collecting donations until 230. Jia yun found out that she left her retainers at macs. Went to macs to find Jia yun's retainers. Sat down for 5 minutes to eat my ice cream. Rush to Bugis to collect donations. Rush to city hall and realize donation tin is not heavy enough. So started collecting donations until 6!!! Went to mos burger to get a drink and rested for 10 minutes and went home. Omg. Im so beat and tired now i don't want to continue blogging already. Tmr still have to collect. Its like 3-4 hours of non stop saying the two same phrases--'would you like to donate to straits time pocket money fund? Thank you very much'. Some ppl even cut you off at 'donate to....'. Some ppl are funny too. SOme ppl are nice. Some ppl are weird. Some ppl are dao. Some ppl are polite. Some ppl like bears a lot! HAha! Had a tiring but nice day.
~yoz~bert~yoz~
6:01 AM
I felt completely like a drug addict who is undergoing the famous 'cold turkey' treatment in a rehabitation centre. Alright, probably not that bad, but that is the best analogy i can come up with.Many factors come into play, and of course the main factor is probably me trying to force myself not to maple and getting myself to spend hours in a single day(first time after months) to focus on maths and nothing else. So i deeply apologise for those i acted weird to yesterday and sincerely thank all those who helped to cheer me up intentionally or unintentionally (:
I realised how addicted i am to the virtual world. Yesterday morning till the evening, i was at orchard library doing maths with wee teng. Everything went well until i started on so many questions which i kept getting stuck at. I guess maths can be a boon or a curse. When you successfully solve a hard question, you felt like you are in heaven. However after long hours of thinking and you are still stuck at a question, you felt like you are in hell. Yeap. So after that when i got home, i really had the urge to maple. This time i haven't deleted maplestory from the com. And gosh, how terrible it is when you are just less than 1 metre away from the maple world, but you yourself prevent yourself from getting into it. And i was having bad stomachache which probably made things worse. So yea that night, i spent my time doing maths homework and on msn while torturing myself because i really really had the strong urge to maple!! And many who talked to me yesterday witnessed the bad side of me. Blunt wilbert! Pardon me again.
I came to a conclusion. Virtual world can indeed be as harmful as drugs, or anything that you want to use to get yourself away reality. I assume there are many people out there in the world who are equally addicted to maple story or any other online games. This is what i figured is so attracting about online games. For many, it's just to try out something their friend recommended or something to kill boredom for awhile. This, i guess is perfectly alright. Yet after awhile, there are people(like me) who had actually got so into the game that we play the game to get ourselves away from reality.
In the virtual world, you start on a new life, embark on a new journey. So many worries that manifest in the reality world is now gone once you entered the virtual world. For games like maplestory for example, the stronger you get or the richer you are, more people in the game will respect you. Human nature i figured has been such that everyone actually at some point of a time have dreams of excelling in something in their life. For many who can't in the reality, the games are their saviours. For games like maplestory, etc, the more time you spent playing productively, the better your character will become. So this is one reason why many people fall to the trap of the virtual world. To get rid of the worries they have in the reality world and get the respect of ingame players. However as i had mentioned earlier on, the virtual world is a trap, the catch is that it only helped to get rid of ur worries temporily and the amount of time you spent escaping from the reality is directly proportionate to the amount of worries that will be added to what worries you have in the reality world. Of course, i said earlier on, this only applies to the few or to the many that had turned to the virtual world as a source of refuge, not those who turned to the virtual world due to a curiosity or just to kill boredom for a short period of time. Yet again the later cases might developed into the former case of turning to the virtual world as a source of refuge.
What is mentioned above is just how i felt and what i guess had happened to me. There are many other reasons out there why people are actually so obssessed with the virtual world. And i guess this will help many who are addicted to maple. If you are really determined to stop urself from getting hooked up to whatever harms that you are associated to, you can definitely succeed, just don't give up! Haha i don't know if you might think i am the best person to preach this, but this time i am really determined to quit maple and turn to the reality world as a refuge instead. It is starting to work and i can see the effects. Tata!
~yoz~bert~yoz~
8:59 PM
After one and a half days of very hard work, I'VE FINALLY FINISHED THE CHINESE BOOK REVIEW! It's the first time, i've stayed up till 2+ to try to finish something which is still two weeks away from its due date. I remember the last time when i put in so much hard work and tapping all my creativity cells into the work was P5. Yes that was how long ago since i last put in so much effort into a piece of work. This time, i didn't feel pressured or stress when doing it. I felt the air of motivation i used to had in the past, in the past long before i came to nj. Felt so happy that i finally finished something which i give in my best! <333333333
Oh well, i'll take a little time off to blog before i go do some other stuffs. Jakarta was fun, perhaps not the first day! Did i tell you all how huge the houses there are! My aunt's house is like 4 stories high and it's so huge as compared to normal bungalows in Singapore. Then i went to my mom's friend's house and that place is LIKE A PALACE! It's beside the sea(or huge lake) and they had this boat! Oh mann, the houses there are so cheap but nice! Oh yea and i felt like a prince there! My aunt had 3 maids aged around 20. Haha, life there is good.
However the things there are quite expensive. Most of the malls have shops like luis vuitton, gucci, etc. Basically the shops are for those who are loaded with money, who is sadly not me. I saw this pair of jeans that cost roughly 600 singapore dollars. ZZzzz... Oh and the billabong/ripcurl/etc products are actually more expensive than Singapore. So for the many whom i wanted to buy gifts back, hehz, I'll buy you all stuffs in singapore. Better, and at around the same price.
My two twin cousins are super uber irritating and gh3y. I simply can't tolerate them, but i still had to cos im living in their house. Sigh. Thanks goodness i had this other cousin(junior), who is migrating to jakarta. Even though he's super uber flirty, and yea handsome and stuffs, but it's quite nice to hang out and get him to share about his experiences. Also i am bolder when i hang out around him. In the end throughout my whole trip there, i was wearing my choker, gelled my hair and dress like a poser. There was once i even brought a trucker cap to the mall but felt very uncomfortable when i walk around with it. Haha. So yea i can remember all the times when junior and I tried to escape from the twins and we go to pizza hut, starbuck, etc to chat and look at ppl! Aiz, won't see them for at least another year or so i guess.
Burnt a big hole in my pocket at the end of the trip(8 days). I spent around 300-400 dollars mainly on food and clothings on my stay in jakarta. Well but on the night when i came back to singapore again, i manage to come to an agreement with jei to sell him my mesos! 120 sing dollars for 70 millions! Yay 120 dollars. Need them badly. Going to meet jei(jiajun) on thursday at newton. So yeap you might have infered, i am quitting maple. The 120 bucks was really a bonus. I was giving out my maple stuffs to all my close maple friends like cat when jei offered to buy at 3 bucks per million. Haha but to get him to buy more, i sold him 70 millions for only $120. In the future, i am gonna do business and psychology!
Why do i wna do business? Cos it's so fun! I mean when you successfully make a business deal with someone, how great you would feel. It's just like how i felt when i was discussing with jei about selling him the mesos. Lots of difficulties surfaced but you would feel good when you have the answers to them. As for psychology, i always find the human mind very interesting. How people think and react at topics like love, racism, sexism, etc is just so interesting yet weird. Sometimes i couldn't even figure out why i react certain ways.
Alright, this is it for now. My room is in such a mess after doing my book review. Tata all!
~yoz~bert~yoz~
12:16 AM
Anime rocks! It adds so much more colours to my life! Haha perhaps its cos i am a deprived kid so i have to turn to anime. Oh well anyway, anime is simply good.
I am going to indon tomorrow! Cya everyone here! Gosh i haven't even prepared for Adriel's bdae party! Oh and i haven't even prepared my clothings to bring to indon! Aren't i screwed ;D But don't worry, somehow i manage to wriggle out of every single probs i have so far, so this shouldn't be a prob. I'll continue to watch anime which i borrowed from elizabeth. AIR!
Anyw, i'll miss all of you! Especially those whom i always talk to! But don't worry, 8 days, i'll still be alive and kicking! Hoho, and your ears will be ringing with all my gibberish ;D Jk!
~yoz~bert~yoz~
8:28 PM
To everyone out there who's trying to persuade me to stay as who i am, doing what i did, give up. Kudos to you all who tried, i know you all meant it for my own good. However i assure you that the path i am going to choose is what i believe is for my own good. Sometimes you don't expect that there's something better out there, yet there is if you had taken a step out to attempt to find out about it.
Yeap this is supposed to be implicit until the day i finally announce my decision. Charmil (Sorry i don't know how to spell your name) was right in saying there's this stinging feeling at your arms. That is what i am experiencing too. Afterall i've done that action for thousands of times. Perhaps weeks ago i still wouldn't be so sure, but i am very sure i wouldn't want to change my decision now. The longer i stay with them, the better i feel as compared to the other group. There's this chinese idiom called 'ai wu ji wu', i am sorry no matter how i like 'it', i wouldn't want to be with it anymore.
Yayy! I am going to jakarta on the 10th. Well but there's always both sides to a coin. I will enjoy myself with the freedom to shop as much as i want i guess. Yet again i am going to miss all my friends, and yea i can't sms and talk already): Gaga perhaps this is a cold turkey treatment to prevent me from exceeding my sms count again. Eeks!
~yoz~bert~yoz~
6:33 AM
I MUST NOT MAPLE!
I MUST NOT MAPLE!
I really feel guilty that i am very slack. I saw this ncc friend of mine on the train and he, like every sec4s, are slogging and mugging their hearts out. Yet i was slacking. Pls! Why can't i be as hardworking as reg or zhuo er? I really want to but at the same time i can resist temptation to chat, to play, to sleep, to slack. Pls pls pls!
I am willing to give up everything. Sigh but then again, not being able to work hard shows that i am not so willing to give up everything yet): Someone gives me an answer!
~yoz~bert~yoz~
3:36 AM
