COMMON TEST is over! You heard me? Yea it's over and the moment it ended, I felt as if a mountain has just been lifted off my shoulder. Yea so I went to play pool right after it ended and my I must admit I am getting better at it, especially at breaking the balls. Learnt some tricks from the newspaper that's why =p
Anyway I was so depressed I didn't study much for bio, so I fiddled around with my phone and came up with this!
Guess who!?
Ta dah...
And I wasn't the only one with my face painted! Cat was too hoho!
I miss the great days of OM! Bleh!
~yoz~bert~yoz~
3:37 AM
Ah yes I'm feeling much better a wholesome night of sleep. Nonetheless I have to thank my parents for being understanding this time round, and well even though they made me feel worse while consoling me. Oh yea to Jia Hui and Hong Jie in particularly who took time off their busy mugging session to cheer me up. Yea to Elizabeth my past year's peer tutor who still keep approaching me and offering her help. Bleh I've let you down this time round.
Ah well it's a bright new day and many other things are there waiting for me to finish them. Haha, I guess I was super silly to react that way then, but considering that even the great falter at times, what more me, a mere student. XD
edit*- I forgot to thank all the others who tried cheering me too like Luisa, liz, etc. I think I scared everyone around me especially my family =/ And to my sis who bought me two pieces of cakes, it feels weird but thanks. And sorry I only said a thanks because it just feels so weird =/ And i hope U don't lurk around here too like Hong jie! Jk XD
~yoz~bert~yoz~
7:42 PM
Overconfidence, overestimation of myself, and due to these I ended up cutting myself with my own sword which has no doubt grew too long and dangerous for my own good. I can blame it on a hell lot of factors, but I know that no excuses can ever refute this unassailable truth-I suck.
I have never felt so vulnerable before, my self esteem and confidence have never fallen so low. What was the problem here, I couldn't figure out. Probably the only thing that make sense is I am too lousy and too slow to even attempt to catch up with the cheetahs.
Times have changed, and I have always been shrouded by delusions which are woven by myself. No matter how hard I try to cover up my disappointment by acting like a kid, deep down I stil feel like shit. I feel that I am really shit. Because this time round, I tried but failed and I have no excuses or reasons to cover up for that failure.
This time I am defeated, by my ownself. Laugh at me. Jeer at me. Call me a loser who can't face up to my own failures. I don't care, because that is probably what I would do to myself too.
~yoz~bert~yoz~
3:41 AM
Somehow it feels like deja vu, that i have written such a post before.
Many reflections, many thoughts, many acquaintances, but how many know exactly how i feel. So i received comments that i know a lot of people and 'have a wide social network', quoted from Jason in particularly, but this is no doubt nothing to be envious of. Acquaintances can easily be bought; good and understanding friends do not even have a price tag because they are priceless. I do have many friends, but truth is many aren't my close friends. However I still rejoice because at least I have that few good friends, albeit little, to be around me when I need them.
This period of time is another example when they stood by my side, helping me out and listening to my woes. No doubt they can be down at times too, but the fact is when I am down, they are there. Because of them, it feels as if I have just been freed from a metal chain instead of being cut from my lifeline. I shall keep this short and thank them here. Thanks!
~yoz~bert~yoz~
5:08 AM
Gahh I didn't publish the post. Shit i just wasted like 20 minutes typing that out for nothing. Great ok basically it was about how great Jeremy's stayover part was and how hooked i am to Dota now. I am lazy and i was too, so I shan't elaborate what happened.
Anyw I think i'm screwed. For everything. The horoscope book i chanced upon in the bookstore, didn't really work. Oh well, one reason why I don't invest in these kinda books. They are book-lickers.
~yoz~bert~yoz~
9:09 AM
T'was a great stayover party at jem's house. So great I won't include what exactly happened because I am lazy yet there are simply so much great stuffs to blog about if i were to include them. Basically I got really hooked onto Dota and the next morning i had this Tsunami-like headache of richter scale 7.0 which was amazingly easily neutralised by 'Tim-Tam' the chocolate biscuits. I bought a lot of notes to study, but as expected didn't even take anything out of my bag. Hm afterwhich, I went to Kap with ernest and xuan dao to try mugging. Not very productive. Studied for one hour and went home to sleep haha.
Yawns I think imma gnna have an early night tonight. Shall sleep at hmm 9. Because of this part also, my schedule of preparation for CTs is kinda screwed. Imma lagging behind like shit. S.H.I.T.
~yoz~bert~yoz~
4:58 AM
Piles and piles of notes and tutorials everywhere. Seriously, I'm getting quite fed up! Argh I need to get out, I need to play, have fun and chat my heart out. But I can't and today I just couldn't concentrate again. This time is because I am really tired. I am tired get it. Perhaps I should chill out just before common test. I go online and almost everyone is mugging. I know I should, but sometimes trying too hard will yield undesirable results too. Well, I slept the whole day today, haha and right now I feel quite refresh! A whole new me! Whoo, and thanks to those who are willing to spare some time for me even at this time. Whee! Today shall be my chillout day!
~yoz~bert~yoz~
2:25 AM
Hearing those who went to yltc 07 chat about their experiences, I vividly recalled my yltc experience in 2005. Then it was really a bonding camp and nothing short of the word 'fun'. The great friends I made there, I still remember, especially SHAWN! Haha! I kind off lost contact with him already, he seemed to have vanished into thin air, probably after feeling guilty of not doing a good job as house capt. Haha but nonetheless, shawn you are teh best captain(male one) I say i ever have! Haha Sasha's my best captain(female one), so don't feel insulted k!
KAYA, PEANUT BUTTER, JAM! Haha those conversations with Shawn during the camp was probably the best memories I took back from the camp. To some extent, quite sad that those conversations were the best memories right. Haha, but still i can remember what those terms refer to! Hmm let see, actually I only remember one. KAYA! XD Haha those great days I can't forget.
I feel old, having stayed in nj for 2 years alr, third year currently. For two years, I've been saying bye to seniors who have nevertheless forged great friendships with me already. 2 years already, I can't wait for the day I graduate from the school to come. 2 years already, I can't wait for the day for me to finally do all the crazy stuffs to come. 2 years already, I can't wait for the day for me to finally go out and play from day to night without having any worries to come. 2 years already, I still have to wait 2 years. ><
Ok it was the sudden impulse that led me to come here to post. I better get back to doing my stuffs. Softball camp for the next two days, I looked at the schedule and i was quite shocked, but glad that it doesn't look tough=p Camps should be fun, to let us bond with the people more, like YLTC 2005! Whoo!
~yoz~bert~yoz~
4:52 AM
Good job Wilbert, you were so bored that you deleted the cookies when you chanced upon the options without knowing that all your passwords and usernames saved in the world wide web will be deleted too. Great job! I lost all my passwords and can't remember most of them. Along with the passwords and usernames, that glimmer of hope i still try to keep was consumed by the darkness surrounding it too. I guess everything is over, beneath all the rough waves, perhaps it's a blessing in disguise afterall. I guess there's really nothing holding me back already. Today shall be the last day I'll post until after my common test. I lost everything that give me a reason to come online haha! Yea one major player lost is the neopets site and the anime site. I am just too lazy to try to get back those passwords.
On a happier note, i finally caught the third sequel to the pirates trilogy. This time I watched with my dad! Yeap it was good no doubt it got quite confusing at some point. The visual effects were really good. Gahh I'm so tired now. The amount of sleep that I stocked up on the other day was all used up now. Goodnight!
Btw lazy to reply tags as of now and since i'm not gonna come here anymore so till july!
~yoz~bert~yoz~
9:33 AM
Gahh almost one whole day of sleep really resuscitate me! I'm feeling quite refreshed now :D Anyw gahh I think these will be the last few posts that I will post in these two days before I self-confiscate my lappy. I have been doing too much stuffs which I shouldn't be! LIKE WATCHING ANIMES! Mann, I'm an anime craze. Imagine life without animes...Well nothing much will happen actually, I'll prolly turn to other sources of entertainment.
Anyw let me quote Zhi rong's famous phrase, "mug le lah"! Yea it sure is time to start mugging, especially since my relatives are all coming over the last week of june hols. Gahh, to my dear lappy, this will be the last few moments we are gna share tgt until after common test! Animes... ):
~yoz~bert~yoz~
8:36 PM
Teresa's party was seriously no doubt the best birthday party I have ever attended. All the people there were really funky people, most of whom were in Cj and Sa for the first three months. I really didn't regret going over there, but on the contrary, regretted having to leave early with Ernest >< Oh well, I made Ernest stay overnight with me at the chalet, so in return i agreed to leave early with him because he needed to make a trip to NTU. Yawns! I acheived a personal feat this time round-I slept at about 5+am? Usually I would have just conked out at around 2+am at the maximum.
Anyway, after econs consolidation, Ernest and I rushed to the costa sands resort. It was quite a last minute decision that we decided to go and stay overnight, so we only went to search for presents in the afternoon when we went to have lunch. Well, we saw a teddy bear which could record sounds, and at that time, that was our best option :/ Gahh after Wei liang told us he bought her a handbag, we seriously felt bad..
Oh so when we reached there, they were bbq-ing, and since we are really lazy tards. Ernest and I sneaked into the room to play cards with Michelle. After awhile then did we go down to enjoy the great food ^^
Hmm, the period after dinner was probably the highlight of the stayover. Initially I wanted to just stay in the room to sleep while the others wanted to take a walk to the beach/rollerblade. Frankly I was so tired I really wanted to sleep, but then I felt bad for being so anti-social, which i have been ever since the moment i reached there. In the end, I tagged along and I was really glad I did. So we walked to the beach and it was quite eerie at the start. Gahh I'll skip all the specific details to the part where we sat at the breakwater to enjoy the starry night and the seaview. The weather was good, and there were really a lot of stars in the sky. We sat there and chatted and played some songs and I really enjoyed that moment. So much thoughts just surfaced and it was a great moment for reflection, and feel emo XD We walked back at 1+am because the gate will close at 2am. On the way back, I started conversing and joking with some of them, most whom i didn't really talk to initially. Hm, call me a shy boy and a man of few words XD Haha, they are really interesting people.
Anyw yea I'm lazy to include everything but I seriously enjoyed this night. That was seriously what i needed to relieve myself from the stress of schoolwork and the competition in school. I seriously can't stand that intense competition. Bleh. So many people are doing so many things to decorate their portfolio. I confess that there was a short period of time when i was doing that too, making many stupid decisions. Thank goodness I turned back in time and do whatever because I like doing. I am only concerned about my As now, not decorating portfolio anymore>< But rest assured whatever commitments I have agreed to take up, I will be responsible for it till the end.
~yoz~bert~yoz~
3:20 AM
The past few days have been quite terrible. I couldn't concentrate on my work, I just kept thinking and thinking of the many reasons and possibilities that might happen. As such, I am really behind schedule with regards to my preparations for common test. Sigh Wilbert arh, always get yourself into trouble. Anyw perhaps today was a little bit better, after talking to ashwyn, teresa and ernest. Frankly, I miss the feeling and yearn to have more, but at the same time I'm scared to pursue it. I didn't intended to at the start, really. I didn't even think I would ever think of that possibility. However the past few weeks and months just changed my perception. It really is hard, having to try very hard to guess what the other side thinks.
Anyw tomorrow is gna be a hectic day. 5 more topics of econs to finish by tmr 5pm before my consultation with Ms Wong. After which, Woohoo I'll rush to Downtown East with Ernest to indulge in some fun and make myself not think so much. No please don't get my wrong, we are gng there to attend teresa's party haha!
~yoz~bert~yoz~
5:51 AM
Omgosh i so need to share this with everyone! However mean i am, but this is really so funny that it made my day. Ok so after having dinner with my family at soup garden(ew i so hate ginger) at AMK hub, we took a walk inside fairprice. Guess what i saw? This quite fat woman using the (I-dno-what-its-called-so-i-shall-name-it...) shake-a-lot slimming machine. And gose, it seems like the woman is experiencing an earthquake of richter scale 7.0 lol XD Ok ok i'm really mean i know, but hey I was quite down and emo for the past few days and this totally liven me up! :D Thank you very much to the I-don't-know-your-name lady!
Anyw yeap, i have straightened my thoughts--I am not going to be the character whose fate is going to be decided by anyone but myself. XD
Oh! And my dad decided to try the maching too, and ohmygosh, he shook like he's experiencing a tsunami haha! No he's not fat tho.
The end to the slump of my june holidays, that so caused me not to be able to concentrate! Tata ><
~yoz~bert~yoz~
7:38 AM
Frankly i don't know what to do. I am lost. Grr, my instinct and intuition tells me i should drop the idea, but this source of power just led me to do the opposite. I hate it, i hate this kind of feeling.
Anyw 4 topics down and i reach a very terrible roadblock, one that is so hard to clear. Roars.
~yoz~bert~yoz~
12:32 AM
Yosh another rainy day, which i always prefer over super hot sunny days, except when I'm training of course. Anyw I managed to finish functions today, albeit there were so much distractions in the library. *hints ><*
As usual, finding someone to eat lunch with was a problem in the holidays. I almost had to eat lunch myself, fortunately i met shu fang and crystal just outside school walking to the poolside restaurant. And lunch was good ^^ Mann i realised how i hate to be alone, especially when it comes to having meals. Not just applicable to eating, but even normally when i go out and such. My mom was just suggesting why can't i watch a movie alone, and i gave her the *hello?* face XD
After which i went back to the library to try to do my work. 3 questions of graphing and i felt really sleepy after the heavy lunch (2 plates of fried rice with chicken cutlet), so i went to the rocking chair area to take a nap. I slept and slept and when i woke up, 1 hour has already passed. I was so drowsy i decided to just come home. Shall mug again at night. Haiz, mugging alone is so boring too. Mugging partner ernest had to have some attachment things. Grr.
Anyone who hasn't watched pirates who is willing to watch with me before it closes? Hurry tell me!
~yoz~bert~yoz~
1:51 AM
