Grow Fungus Grow!
Grow Mould Grow!
Invade Darkness Invade!
Invade Loneliness Invade!
Turn this land into a No-Posts land!
Transform this serenity into an air of eerieness!
I hereby DECLARE,
THIS BLOG IS FOREVER SHUT DOWN!
And I can't be bothered to spend any extra effort to delete anything or to shut down this place properly.
SO BEHOLD THE GREAT MOMENT!
B O O O O O O O O O O M!
"The end of the Masked-Window!" - Be masked forever into eternity!
~yoz~bert~yoz~
8:29 PM
I have many friends, but I don't have many close friends whom I can boast of. In fact at any point of time, I can count the number of them with my two hands. Nope, its not that I don't treasure the friendships or I don't hold the friendships I have in high regards. Nope I don't, in fact I realised that its more of a self defense I have set up subconciously to prevent myself from feeling sad too often. Since I was young, whenever I thought a great relationship was going to surface, I had to part with that person and never see him/her for a long time. For example, my cousins, my aunts in Indonesia. At that moment, i was really helpless, I couldn't do anything but to see them move further away from me. Everytime on the plane back from a trip in Indonesia, I'll definitely feel that awkward and sad feeling. I remembered the few times I cried so badly in front of everyone when I was pulled away from them to board the plane back. As time passed by, I knew how naive I was. My mother often told me the same. It is impossible to stay with them all the time. Ever since my childhood, I already started building this mechanism of self defense not to get too attached to people. The few times which I accidentally got too attached to anybody, I was further proved that I shouldn't since at the end of the day I had to leave them too.
In fact, for a long long time, I haven't experienced this feeling of missing good friends and visualizing the day I would leave them. I haven't, and when I do, it spells troubles, because it means that the self defense I had carefully imposed on myself over the years have already been invaded. This time, I thought the probability of me falling into this trap I brought upon myself is really slim. I had already learnt to deal with it for years already, but I guess I was wrong this time. I already could sense this attachment forming. Especially after yesterday when Jen, Marriane, Sam and Bao threw me this pleasant surprise early birthday part, I was really quite shocked. No one has ever threw me a surprise party haha. The last time I was really elated was when my clique celebrated my birthday together with me last year. Anyway let's not digress, I was really touched by Jen and Marriane especially. I don't know how to put this in words, haha yea I am emo-ing now. Gah I really can imagine what its like without them next year. Lol even though they bully me so much but yet again these are the memories or stories I will remember and can tell to others. Gahh haha even though I haven't known them for a long time, but they have added so much more to my life, and the small little advices they gave me had actually helped me recover from the blow I suffered during common test. What I had done with them in this short while are in fact much more significant that what I had gone through with most people I had knew for years already. And they helped me realise there are more things worthy of my attention out there than games like Dota or Maplestory. Rah I will miss them, I really will, to what extent I don't know yet. Thank you Jen, Mary, Bao, etc and especially Jen and Mary for these wonderful memories.
Haha, 'Super'-dog!
~yoz~bert~yoz~
12:21 AM
OMGOSH I accidentally deleted my post, which I finished already and was doing some minor editing. Grr. Due to a very bad headache, I'll shorten the post by 100Xs!
Tuesday
Last day of promos. Went to play pool and caught a movie with my classmates. The movie 'nanny diaries' was good, just suitable for watching after promos.
Wednesday
Chem spa was over this day. 2 more spas left to go! Mann, can't afford to screw them up anymore. Played soccer with the guys and went to lan at E2max after that. Dota was fun and great, but not cs. I almost puked after cs.
Thursday
Went to sing kbox with cat and company to celebrate Simin's and Cherry's birthdays. Even though my voice sucks, but I couldn't resist and started singing quite a lot. Well they didn't stop me from singing, really appreciated that 'brothers' ;D
Today
Had game fest today. Played captain's ball and even though we didn't win, but it was really fun! The last game got a bit heated up though haha! Oh well, but that team deserved to win, they were marking us well! Played dota at bytz after that, lost a game with jem and johnson. Oh well but it was fun :D Went to prepare for Zee's birthday and haha it was really retarded. And i got bullied by the touch ruggers -.- They called me their pet dog. Haha but the celebrations was fun. Learnt how to play touch rug after which, and touch rug is fun too! So is netball haha! Mann, but at the end of the day, I ended up with a bad headache. Probably due to the sun, which I was under it almost for the whole day. Whee, gna sleep now! Goodnight!
~yoz~bert~yoz~
6:06 AM
